A "mind candy" fast
Over the past 10 years, I've noticed that the cracks in my days have been increasingly filled with mind candy. I'm taking a break.
Over the winter break, my wife and I began to notice an unfortunate pattern of behavior in our kids. After a meal, or even between meals, dessert had become an expectation, rather than a treat. They (some more than others) were constantly asking when the next treat or dessert was going to be. It got to the point that I was pretty sure they were eating less real food so they could get to dessert faster and with more fervor.
So the first week of January, we instituted a week-long dessert fast. Where we normally let them have dessert every night, we were going a week without it. No Oreos, no candy, no sweets of any kind. We expected it would come with a lot of whining—and there was a little when we announced the plan—but for the most part the kids took it like champs. I think this brief break provided a much-needed reset in our family's approach to treats, and I have hope that it's going to help us all have a healthier attitude toward sweets, at least for a while.
Mind candy overload
Over the past 10 years, I've noticed that the cracks in my days have been increasingly filled with mind candy. It has slid into my life in various ways, and because of how easy it is, it slowly pushes out other things to the point that I no longer remember what I did when I didn't have these things in my life all the time. Like my kids and dessert, I was forgoing more beneficial activities to fill my mind with simple sugar.
Some of the ways that mind candy has filled my life:
- The phone. I find myself reaching for my phone if I have more than 30 seconds to sit without something else to do. Reddit, Instagram reels, podcasts, youtube shorts, TikTok (though I haven't had that on my phone for years, the temptation is always there), Hacker News, News websites I go back and forth in my head between thoughts of "it's good to be able to sit and think" and "what's the point of being bored? We have all this information, why not?"
- Reading habits. I have several sources of interesting articles, but I frequently find myself reading just the headline or very briefly skimming, then skipping to the comment section either to see someone agree with me, or to get mad at someone who disagrees with me. Even things I am interested in get skipped to read somebody's summary or tl;dr in the comments. I use Readwise Reader, and have amassed a huge queue of articles I wanted to read at one point, but never did because it's easier to just read the comments.
- Listening to podcasts. I enjoy listening to podcasts, but over time my consumption of podcasts has shifted from "something interesting that I listen to" to a newer habit of "have it on in the background, and half pay attention depending on if I'm thinking about something else." So I'll turn on a podcast while I'm doing dishes, driving, walking somewhere, or even just getting dressed for the day. While I'm listening, I'm mentally tuning in and out, so I'm never fully focused either on the podcast or on whatever I'm thinking about. Basically, my use has become pathological - I use it to occupy my mind in any spare moment that I'm not talking to someone or actively working.
- Video games. I enjoy playing video games. I particularly enjoy playing games with friends, and I'll gladly spend hours chatting and playing. But occasionally (not as much right now, but it comes in waves) I'll find myself playing games alone that I do not enjoy. I have fun playing League of Legends or Fortnite with friends, but I rarely have fun playing them alone. So I need to stop playing if other people aren't around.
So yesterday I decided it was time for a change. I had tried to reduce usage before, but I think for my personality, anything less than cold turkey wasn't going to cut it, and wouldn't actually stick. Once I "detox" myself, perhaps I'll be able to reintroduce it in some ways, but I want to make sure I don't immediately fall back into old habits.
What do I mean by "mind candy?"
I've gone through several titles for this article in trying to figure out what to call the type of consumption I'm trying to avoid. Initially I just called it consumption, but that was too broad. I can consume a lot of things that are helpful to me: research articles, tutorial videos, thoughtful news and essays online. Mindless consumption came next, but that almost felt too limiting - while many of the things I want to avoid are mindless, not all of them are.
A large part of what I want to avoid is algorithmic consumption - stuff being sent to me that I'm not seeking out, but is being driven by some company's desire to keep me on their website. Instagram, Reddit, and YouTube are the biggest culprits for me, and being a mindless dopamine hunter, I can cycle through those for far longer than I care to admit. I once heard a joke about opening the refrigerator, not seeing anything you want to eat, closing it, then immediately opening it again now with new, lower standards. You keep opening the fridge and lowering your standards until finally you find something you're willing to eat. That's me with these types of social media. I'll scroll for a bit, get tired of it, put it down, then immediately pull it out again now with new, lower expectations for how good it will be. That's terrible, and it's destroying my brain.
But all my less-fulfilling consumption is not algorithmic. I have also found myself trying to fill every moment of "boredom" or even potential boredom with noise of some kind or another. Like I mentioned, podcasts are one of my favorite ways to fill my mind with things. On their own they're not bad, but I'm pretty sure they way I've been using them has gone beyond the good and into the problematic.
So for now I've settled on "mind candy" to describe what I want to avoid. I'm trying to cut back on things that gratify instantly but provide no long term satisfaction. Consumption that brings a brief hit of dopamine without doing anything to build me into who I want to become. And in its place my goal is to fill my time with more thought and reflection; more service for others, even in small ways; more mindful consumption of longer, more meaningful content; more deep thought about work and life; and more creation of things like this website and others that might provide value to someone besides me.
PS: Hold me to it
I hesitate to post this now, because I don't want to fall victim to intention signaling, where telling you all about my goal gets me all the satisfaction I need, so I don't actually do the work to achieve it. But I want to write over the next few days about other thoughts I have relating to this, and that will only make sense if you know where I'm coming from. So hold me to it.
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